Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results.

They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE?

What's the very bad news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

************ ***

"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"

"Yes, of course…"

"Great! I never could before!"

************ ***

A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there.

The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."

The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?"

And the man replies, "No, just spots."