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The perfect divorce letter
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Rahul
Site Admin
Joined: Tue May 30, 2006 10:42 am Posts: 89513 Location: Behind You
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 The perfect divorce letter
Dear Husband
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BOSS and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your Ex-wife
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Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out.
your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BOSS, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my boss had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
But
when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my boss was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
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| Sun Sep 28, 2008 3:36 pm |
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jumper
New Born Fropkian
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:25 am Posts: 45 Location: 3rd Planet from the sun
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 Re: The perfect divorce letter
Even though he liked his ending , we should learn to talk to each other.. These maters don't just happen. They are like erosion over alot of time.. In divorces , lawyers are the only winners..
_________________ Nothing is as simple as we hope it will be
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| Wed Sep 30, 2009 3:28 am |
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Yours-Forever
New Born Fropkian
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:58 am Posts: 2
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 Re: The perfect divorce letter
Hi,
Really a perfect letter. We can derive the positive part from this letter that is, not to take decision on rush. Think and act wisely before you decide.
Great one..
Keep it up.
Regards,
Yours Forever.
_________________ Regards,
Yours Forever
"Work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, And dance like no one's watching."
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| Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:44 pm |
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Guest
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 Re: The perfect divorce letter
Dude you spent your time and energy writing such a wonderful joke but sorry to say this neither one of us have understood it!!!!!!!!!!
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| Thu Oct 22, 2009 4:08 pm |
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archer7
New Born Fropkian
Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:27 pm Posts: 1
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 Re: The perfect divorce letter
Are you guys for real?!?! You can't even tell it a bloody joke! Clear some of the cobwebs inside that so called brains of yours!
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| Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:44 pm |
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[ 5 posts ] |
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