Two guys chatting in a bar:

First guy: Tell me three fastest ways of communication? But hey, the first three letters gotta be "Tel".

Second guy: Well, lemme see, Telephone, Television…ummm…

The second guy starts to think about other possibilites.

First guy: Okay, I'll tell you, the fastest means of Communication : 1. Tele-Phone 2. Tele-Vision 3.Tell something to a Woman and if you still want it to be way FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.